“The hardest part of any conversation with someone new is the first thirty seconds. On a video call, that awkward pause can feel even longer, because you are both looking at each other and waiting for someone to say something interesting.
Having a few openers ready makes a huge difference. They come in handy on first dates, at online networking events, on calls with new colleagues and on Chatarooni, where you are matched one-on-one with a random stranger and can start a game of chess or Connect 4 if the chat needs a nudge. Here are some starters that actually lead somewhere.
## Use What You Can See
Video has one big advantage over text: you can see a bit of each other’s world. That gives you instant material.
“”Is that a guitar behind you? Do you play?””
“”I love that poster. Where did you find it?””
“”Is that a cat I can see on the sofa? What’s its name?””
“”Are those all your books? Which one would you recommend?””
These work because they are specific and easy to answer. Keep it light and stick to things the person has clearly chosen to have in view. Commenting on someone’s looks in the first minute can feel uncomfortable, so focus on objects, pets and backgrounds instead.
## Easy Questions With Room to Grow
The best openers are simple enough to answer quickly but open enough to take the conversation further.
“”What has been the best part of your week so far?””
“”What are you watching or listening to at the moment?””
“”If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?””
“”Have you picked up anything new lately, even something small?””
Steer away from yes or no questions where you can. “”Do you like music?”” usually gets a one-word answer. “”What song have you had on repeat recently?”” gives the other person something to actually talk about.
## Playful Openers for Casual Chats
When the mood is relaxed, a bit of silliness can break the ice faster than polite small talk.
“”Settle an argument for me: what is the worst pizza topping?””
“”What is the most useless talent you have?””
“”If you had to eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?””
“”What is the strangest thing in the room with you right now?””
Questions like these tend to get people laughing, and once you are both laughing, the nerves usually fade.
## When the Conversation Stalls
Even good chats hit quiet patches. Rather than panicking, try one of these moves.
Go back to something they mentioned earlier. If they said they had just got back from a trip, ask where they went and what the best moment was.
Share something about yourself first. People often open up once you have gone first, especially if it is a little funny or unexpected.
Suggest an activity. A quick game, or showing each other something interesting in your room, gives you both something to react to.
And if it really is not working, that is fine too. A friendly “”It was nice to meet you”” is a perfectly good way to wrap things up and move on.
The secret behind every one of these is genuine curiosity. Listen to the answers, ask a follow-up and let the conversation go wherever it wants to go. The opener just gets you through the door. You do not need to memorise a script, either. Pick two or three that feel natural to you, keep them in the back of your mind, and let the rest come from what the other person says.”